Pure Again (2013)
Pure Again was the first original piece I wrote specifically for Twine. It was featured on Rock, Paper, Shotgun and attracted praise for its handling of gender dysphoria at a time when Twine was becoming popular in parts of the trans community.
I republished it in 2016 with a new postscript, putting it in the context of my detransition back to female, which you can read below. You can play the updated version of Pure Again here.
Three months after writing Pure Again, I started testosterone. I took it for two years before deciding to detransition.
When I transitioned, it was an attempt to escape the body I was born with. It took me a while to realise that this is impossible, and that chasing after something impossible was only going to deepen the hurt. I talked to women who have learned to embrace being female in spite of their dysphoria, and I decided to try. It's not easy, but at least it's not impossible.
Pure Again is a fantasy of escape from dysphoria. Transition couldn't provide that for me in the real world. That doesn't mean you should give up on it, or that we can't both still enjoy the fantasy. But the story branches more than I realised at the time; we could have more than one route to a happy ending.